Saturday, July 24, 2010

Sam's Guide:Chuck Norris

So who exactly is Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris (Born:Carlos Ray Norris) is an American Martial Artist and Actor and probably the most awesome American guy who ever lived. Hence, his idolation by Americans and the internet (which has been scientifically proven to be mostly American)

He is also the world's most powerful pokemon.






However,they had to cut him out of the pokemon series because he would make every other pokemon seem like a bunch of yellow mice blue turtles red lizards green leafy dimosaurs oddly coloured animals.

and he regularly teams up with japanese anime girls


So How Awesome is Chuck Norris actually?

  • he's the only person to ever achieve a score of 301 in bowling.
  • he's the only person ever to beat a brick wall in a game of tennis
  • when he crosses the road, cars have to look left and right.
  • when he does push-ups, he doesn't actually lift himself up, the world gets pushed down
  • when he falls in water, he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
  • he once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink.
  • he played russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. and won.
  • he was supposed to be cast as the Terminator, but they decided that they didn't want to make a documentary, so they casted Arnold Schwarzenegger instead.
  • he can win a game of monopoly without owning any property
  • there is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures he allows to live
  • he invented cancer because he was tired of killing people
  • when the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks to see if Chuck Norris is hiding in his closet.
  • he can pull a push door, and push a pull door.
  • he can never have a heart attack, because his heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.
  • he sets ants on fire using a magnifying glass. at night.
  • he can divide by zero
  • in the fine print of the last page of The Guinness Book of Records, it states that all records are actually held by Chuck Norris, and the people listed in the book are simply the closest anyone have ever gotten. 


Ways to Survive a Chuck Norris Attack
none.

if you can see him, he can see you. if you can't see him, you're probably already dead.


Chuck Norris' Weaknesses
  • Bruce Lee (the only person on Earth who is more awesome than Chuck Norris. video evidence here)
  • tigers lions bears eagles t-rex pterodactyl dragons snakes guns rockets fire explosions bombs children borat aliens kryptonite 


score one for the asians.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Oranje!

Oh no, Holland lost. Oranje lost. My team lost. It's a sad sad day for Holland supporters.

But, I have to admit Spain played well. Especially Iniesta, he really deserved that goal.

and so just like that, the 2010 FIFA World Cup is over.

which means no more ZZZZZzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzZZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzZZZZZzzzzzZZ

a handy guide on how to use a vuvuzela

apparently, Kanye loves vuvuzelas too.


Who needs guitars?


so that's how the Horn of Helm Hammerhand sounds like


the reason why Moses lost the World Cup


and a very nice compilation of some of the best goals scored.



I'm disappointed that the dude who made this video didn't include any of Diego Forlan's goals though.

for those who missed the finals, here you are


also, a goal that makes us asians proud


a beautiful freekick by Japan's Keisuke Honda.
*Cristiano Ronaldo eat your heart out*




On another note, I realised that football players have really awesome names (or some of them at least)
So I've decided that when I have kids, this is what I'm gonna name them.

Kid no.1: Capdevila
Kid no.2: Huntelaar
Kid no.3: Van Bronckhorst
Kid no.4: Bob

why Bob? to maintain the balance of coolness. and also because I always wanted a kid name Bob.

I'm kidding.

*also, be a good boy and comment in the cbox, there's free cookies *

Sunday, July 11, 2010

La Celeste

Uruguay, possibly the best team this world cup.
don't believe me? lets check the FIFA rankings.

Spain - 2
Netherlands - 4
Germany - 6
Uruguay - 16

can you tell which is the odd one out?

if any of you watched the Uruguay - Germany match, you can't argue that Uruguay played on par with Germany, a team thats 10 ranks higher than them.

they deserved that 3rd place spot as much as the Germans did.

but of course, the only reason Uruguay managed to go as far as they did is because of this guy.


Diego Forlan.

who is, in my opinion the best player of the tournament.
he singlehandedly took Uruguay to the the semis.
with a little help from Suarez of course.


and have you seen his goals?











you have to admit. this dude is awesome.
in my opinion, Diego Forlan is the best player in the tournament.
He deserves the Golden Ball more than anyone.

so for bringing your team to the semis, against all odds.
scaring the s*** outta me during the Netherlands match (yes, I am a dutch fan and I actually thought that we might lose thanks to him)
scoring amazing goals
almost equalizing in the 93rd min against Germany with a really really awesome free kick (that unfortunately missed the top left corner and hit the post)
and just being plain awesome

I salute you Mr. Diego Forlan
both you, and your team

Uruguay - the biggest overachievers this tournament.
Diego Forlan - the best player this tournament.

*yes, i'm ignoring that handball from Suarez, sue me*
**edit: "Suarez r teh best keeper of the tournament. Fact." - King Yang**

After a month of football fever, the last game of the 2010 FIFA World Cup is here.
it's going to be interesting, because both sides have never took home the trophy before.
But we all know that Holland will win it.

Go Oranje!

**edit: looks like I was right, Forlan won the Golden Ball, so I wasn't the only one who thought he was the best player in the tournament**

Friday, July 9, 2010

A New Leaf

So, if you known me long enough you would know that I'm a really really lazy dude. especially when it come to studies.

But that's gonna change.

I've decided to not be a lazy @$$ and start studying.
yes, I know I said that before SPM.
It didn't work out then so why should it work now?
I'll tell you why.

Because I'm actually serious this time.

Yes I'm serious.

seriously serious.

as serious as I can be.
(which someone told me isn't really that serious but what do they know right?)

In fact, I'm so serious, My nickname is now Serious Sam.

and no, I wasn't serious about that part.
I don't want to be called Serious Sam.

but yes, I'm gonna start studying, do well in uni, and be successful in life.
Maybe even be rich, have a huge house and drive a Porshe Cayman S *please let this part be true*

4 A*

that'll be my A-Levels Results (A* is like an A+, just so you know)

Watch me.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Revival

Heyy people! i'm back! (kinda)

well, do you remember one of my posts sometime ago where i posted lyrics to a song i wrote?

i finally recorded it.

you can see it here if you're interested.

it's short and not the best effort on my part but still kinda cool (to me at least)